What kind of mother are you based on your zodiac sign?

In honor of Mother’s Day and with a big ups to the women that have carried us, we’re taking a look at how astrology influences maternal instincts.

Mothering can take many forms and the shape of several people: aunties, elders, sisters and overbearing friends all conspire to build us into who we are.

As writer Chuck Palahniuk sagely notes, “Mothers. With all their caring and attention. They will f— you up, every time.” Preach, Chuck. Be it smothering or aloof, nourishing or neurotic, here’s a list of the mothering style and manner of each zodiac sign.

To learn more about the feminine influence in your own life and how to reparent your own inner child, I recommend exploring the meaning of your moon sign.

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

Joan ‘Mommy Dearest’ Crawford was an explosive Aries sun.
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Intense and energetic, Aries mothers  are prone to explosive outbursts that leave their children searching for sanctuary under couch cushions or between noise canceling headphones. In an attempt to make amends, an Aries mom will placate with guilty gift giving and apology texts written in all caps. Ever ready to defend their young, these people approach parent teacher conferences as a contact sport. Not for nothing folks, Joan ‘Mommy Dearest’ Crawford was an Aries. 

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

Taurus matriarch Teresa Giudice is full bull when it comes to defending her daughters.
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Ruled as they are by Venus, planet of aesthetics, Bull moms at their worst can be both superficial and judgmental. Gone unchecked, this combination breeds spiteful teenagers with low self esteem. Apart from this, a Taurus mother is a much like the horned bovine that symbolizes it. Chill, content to frolic, copulate at will and eat copious amounts of roughage until provoked. When someone decides to come for their comfort or their kids, it is all out raging bull and hell hath no fury like a Taurus mom on the warpath, case in point, Taurus queen, “Real Housewives of New Jersey star” Teresa Giudice. Even Rihanna is taking notes.

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

Elvis Presley’s mother Gladys was a Mercurial Gemini that developed a secret language of baby talk with her only son.
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Space cadets, the signature maternal failure of Gemini is negligence. As an air sign, they are more likely to pack a poem and a feather in a lunchbox than actual food. Gemini is ruled by Mercury, planet of expression and communication and natives have restless minds and loose tongues. These moms are notoriously unreliable narrators and their skewed version of events often leaves their children questioning the fabric of their own reality. Subject to their mother’s stream of consciousness style of expression, the child of a Gemini will struggle to get a word in edgewise but will develop the fine art of tuning out. Consider young Elvis Presley who adapted to his Gemini mother Gladys by developing a secret language predicated on baby talk that he carried into his adult relationships with women (yikes).

CANCER (June 21 – July 22)

Cancer moms like Wendy Williams have a hard time holding back and letting go.

Associated with the moon and the fourth house of home and ancestry, no sign is more maternal by design than Cancer. Acutely in tune with the needs and emotional variances of their children, they falter when their offspring leave the nest, resorting to using a dehydrated umbilical cord to lasso them back. Chronic oversharers that routinely make their kids cringe, the Cancer mom contingent includes Lisa ‘I wrote a book on hand jobs’ Rinna and Wendy ‘we don’t do doors in our house’ Williams.

LEO (July 23 – August 22)

Leo moms like Mama June are known to upstage their children.

It’s not about your trauma kids, it’s about the way your trauma made her feel. For the Leo mother, children are an extension of her own solar power, like a handbag or walking evidence of her own failures and majesties. These lions put the upstage in stage mom, case in point, Leo matriarch Mama June of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” fame. These mums are incapable of mustering up an apology but second to none when it comes to throwing a banging birthday party.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

Virgo moms make sure you take your vitamins and wash them down with a nondairy alternative.
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The nurturing style of Virgo mothers oscillates between uptight and unconventional; think tree sap instead of bandaids, cloth diapers, intermittent fasting and sound baths in lieu of family counseling. Because of this the children of Virgos grow up to be musically inclined with hearty immune systems, strong worth ethic and crippling paranoia. 

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

Libra moms like Kim Kardashian roll hard for matching outfits.
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Averse to conflict, and making a scene in public, Libra mothers let a lot slide in the name of keeping the peace and keeping up appearances. Ruled by Venus, they insist their children uphold their aesthetic/brand. Matching sailor outfits? Swedish mohair minimalism? Vegan leather and no eyebrows? It matters not what the look is, only that it is consistent. See Libra momma Cardi B regaling her kiddo Kulture with 29K worth of Chanel and fellow Libra Kim Kardashian dressing her daughter North in a disco ball inspired getup to compliment her own. How it looks at times takes precedence over how it feels for these mums and they are guilty of giving the best of themselves to the outside world. On the upswing their chronic inability to make a firm decision ensures they’ll never pick a favorite child.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

Apex Scorpio Kris Jenner sees her offspring as opportunities.
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Intense and intensely protective there is no hiding from a Scorpio mother. Accustomed to shadows and suspicious by nature, they smell fear and sense secrets. For the child of a Scorpio, sneaking out of the house and any other clandestine behavior requires sedatives and tactical prowess. You can run, but she will find you. An example of a savvy scorpion matriarch unafraid to capitalize on the talents of their offspring is infamous momager, and apex Scorpio, Kris Kardashian

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)

A Sagittarius mother makes for a questionable nurturer but an unparalleled character.
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No one gives less of a f**k about your feelings or cares more about your human decency than a Sagittarius mom. Buckle up babies, this is their ride, you’re just along for it. Potential for questionable relationships and international custody battles is high. It’s going to be weird, so take notes, take photos, this is the kind of tragicomic childhood that memoirs are made of.

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)

A Capricorn mother uses the occasion of cookie making to talk to her kids about venture capitalism.
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A Capricorn mom gives off dad vibes; hand slamming, scotch drinking, stern speaking, who touched this thermostat, quintessential dad vibes. Bed time stories take the form of investment advice. What they lack in emotional availability they make up for in financial stability. They believe love, like a good credit score, must be earned. They want their children to be better because they know they are better. As a direct result of their push towards perfection, the kids of Cap moms are either rabid overachievers or abject failures.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)

An Aquarius mom building empires and toppling toy kingdoms.
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Aquarians, in their daily struggle to walk the tight rope between genius and madness may forget they have children all together. Ruled by stern planet Saturn and punk rock Uranus, water bearer moms are either task masters or all out weirdos. Trying to construct a flux capacitor, take over the world through mind control and wind turbines, live off grid, dismantle the patriarchy and contact life on other planets, specifically the one they were sent here from, is tough work, kids. This work may take precedence over bath time, dinner time, quality time ect. Kids of Aquarian moms will be self-sufficient and wildly entertaining at cocktail parties but weary of affection and deeply suspicious of the government.

PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

Pisces mom Kathy Hilton fulfills the imaginative, avoidant stereotype of her sun sign.

Pisces mommas are dreamy and laissez faire. These water signs are far more likely to build a pillow fort and wear a noodle necklace than inflict corporal punishment or enforce time out. Escapists at heart, they falter when it comes to accountability and facing the pain of their children. We see this balance of sweetness and avoidance in Kathy Hilton’s response to daughter Paris’s institutional abuse.

Your zodiac sign influences your maternal style.
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Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars

Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.